How To Know If Your Mother Hates You: 8 Not-So-Subtle Signs
Have you ever found yourself wondering if your mother harbors some deep-seated resentment or even hatred towards you? If you have, then I know that it’s a really tough pill to swallow. How can your mother hate you, and most importantly, how to know if your mother hates you?
We will try to understand the signs that may indicate if your mother’s love has taken a dark turn. It can be tough to accept, but it’s possible your mom isn’t showing much love or affection towards you. We often think a mother’s love should have no limits, but if she hardly ever says “I love you,” it should be something to worry about. While some mothers are not very expressive with their feelings, there’s a stark contrast between a mom who is simply inexpressive and one who seems cold-hearted and narcissistic.
When your mom never backs you up, it might mean she dislikes you. Usually, mothers are like your personal cheer squad and your most enthusiastic supporter. She stands by you, motivates you, offers advice and helpful feedback, and lends you her shoulder to cry on. She’s supposed to be your safe space. However, if love is missing from her side, all these positive aspects of a caring mom won’t be there. You end up having to encourage yourself or lean on other friends and relatives for support.
If you’ve ever thought “why does my mother hate me?”, then know that your happiness makes her miserable. Your mom should naturally feel joy at your achievements rather than being upset by them. But that’s not always how it goes in real life. Imagine getting a promotion you have been working hard for or scoring the winning point in a game. If she doesn’t seem excited about what makes you happy, maybe it’s because she sees your wins as losses for herself.
When your mom keeps telling you that you’re the reason she’s upset, and you’re the reason she’s never felt happy in her life, then it’s very clear that she hates you. This treatment gradually takes a toll on you, and before you know it, you have become a bitter person since you’re always treated as a scapegoat. Your mom blaming you for her unhappiness is not on you, it’s on her. She is simply projecting her insecurities and low self-esteem on you, because she considers you a soft target.
She treats you like a punching bag when it comes to taking out her anger. Managing emotions isn’t a strong point for such mothers, which is why you always get caught in the crossfire. You serve as her stress relief and face unfair criticism if something goes wrong in her life, even when you aren’t responsible for it. Because you are her child, she feels she has the right to treat you any way she wants, and you are the easier target for her.
If you have trouble talking to your mother about your tough times, look closely at how you interact. She might be unintentionally teaching you to bottle up those feelings or maybe she simply ignores them. If she is going through something hard, it is your “responsibility” to be there for her and resolve her issues. But when the tables turn and it’s her chance to support you, she is quick to dismiss and invalidate your feelings. This makes you feel alone and betrayed, and you gradually start to think that your emotions are not worth the time and energy.
Dealing with an abusive mother can affect you in every aspect of your life; regardless of whether she’s physically, verbally, emotionally, financially, or mentally abusive it’s all damaging for the psyche. Being abusive isn’t just about physical attacks like hitting or kicking. Words and certain behaviors can also cause a lot of psychological and emotional harm. If your mother hates you, she will spare no opportunity to highlight your flaws and mistakes. It seems like she has no interest in watching you succeed, rather seeing you fail gives her a sick satisfaction.
Take some time to reflect on how you feel. Journaling or confiding in a trusted friend can help you understand your emotions better and provide an outlet for your frustration. Try to understand your mother’s perspective, even if it feels unfair and difficult. Sometimes, underlying issues or past experiences can be the reason behind strained relationships. Consider having an open and transparent conversation with your mother about your feelings if you feel safe and comfortable. Surround yourself with friends and family who provide positivity and support. Focus on your own personal growth and development. Pursue hobbies, interests, and goals that make you feel happy, calm, and fulfilled. By investing in yourself, you can become more resilient and find happiness beyond toxic family dynamics.
Living with a mother who dislikes you and always wants to see you fail is not just tough, it’s heartbreaking. But remember that you are strong and capable of dealing with this. How she treats you says nothing about you, and everything about her.
